Salaam Bombay

Its a strange city, this Bombay. Its strange because its impossible to try and comprehend how many alter egos this city has. It changes its character, its colour, its people, its smells and its sounds so many times a day, its easy to lose track. Its like living alongside a schizophreniac, and having it mock you in the face, like Rushdie's Tai, an enigma which makes you delve deeper into its brain with you getting more lost with every inch you inch.

Many a times I've heard people say "Amchi Mumbai", which translates to "My Mumbai" and wondered why it is that only in this city people celebrate life the way they do. Why do these folks come down on the streets and celebrate their festivals outdoors. Why do people relate to the city as an extension of their own being. Or why after a deluge in which thousands die, the city wakes up the next morning like nothing happened. Why the Parsis who own prime portions of real estate in town run cafes that barely make a few grand a week when they could lease them out for a few lakhs. Why the security guard, Agarwal, makes only 4000 rupess a month but is one of the jolliest people you'd ever meet. Why Leopold's and Monde's brim with youth culture in the evenings. Why poverty stares you in the face while you look away at Marine drive. Why people smile back at you if you smile at them at Fort. And why Shobha De is a popular writer (?) Questions, there are really no answers to...

Compare this to say Delhi, which many claim is every bit a metro as Mumbai is. Why has it taken more than 5 decades for someone to say "My Delhi"?... The Commonwealth Games? An afluent yet responsible middle class? A little misplaced patriotism post the Rang De Basanti effect? Ahem...

Try as I may, I cannot ever realistically claim that I have found a complex behavioral matrix which explains this strange phenomenon, or why people here enjoy their miserable difficult lives as much as they do. Take my boss for example... but lets save that for another day. However, there is no denying that if there is any place I have seen where people 'live' their lives, its here.

And then there is this repertoire of nuances this city has, which I will follow up later. For now an interesting fact. Recently, I found out that the suburban railway system of Mumbai ferries 2.2 billion passengers every year. A reference point in perspective? The world's population is just over 6 billion.

There are just so many exclusivities attached to this city that it would be unfair to try and put them anywhere except in a book. Hell, Suketu Mehta and Gregory David Roberts couldn't do it justice, I'm just another intern :)

Here's to you, my ugly friend

I had disappaeared for a while and have only recently resurfaced. The sole reason of this was my summer internship, which besides moving along really well, keeps me busy for upto 14 hrs. Everyday. Coupled with a need to find an apartment in this city, each day knocks in quite a punch. Most people I used to hang with have now got new friends, new apartments or have moved to different cities. I have had more than one person come and tell me that theres a hush around campus about my finally flipping the lid, which i would like to think is falsified information probably instigated by propaganda of some classmates who get paid for not working at all.

A rumour that I had locked myself in my apartment and gotten addicted to eating custard was just that. (A rumour not custard, you moron)

So obviously, with all this happening, it doesnt leave much time for socialising but yesterday while a friend and I landed at a favourite haunt, he reminded me of how I had been the 'dial a drinking toast/quote' person in college.

It made me wonder why I don't celebrate a drink with a friend in the same fashion any longer. Perhaps its the way my hectic schedule has made me or maybe I have just changed for the worse.

Whatever it is, it is unacceptable and I vow to never again indulge in my drink without taking time to appreciate it, especially around a friend.

I enclose some of my all time favourite drinking toasts here. Even if one person who reads this remembers to celebrate his/her drink with a friend, it would have made me a very happy man. Cheers!

Here's to the girl I love the best.
I've loved her naked, and I've loved her dressed.
I've loved her standing and I've loved her lying.
And if she had wings, I'd love her flying.
And when she's dead and long forgotten,
I'll dig her up and love her rotten.

Here's to all of the women who have used me and abused me...
And may they continue to do so!

I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working. -- Dave Barry

Work is the curse of the drinking class. --Oscar Wilde

The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. --Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they're sober. --William Butler Yeats

Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother
And if you drink, may you drink with me. -- Alexander Botham

Of all my favorite things to do,the utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
with each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer's so frothy, smooth and cold--It's paradise--pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me...That's all for now, I gotta pee! -- Varun Cheemra (?)

P.S.- Most of this post is not my own before someone labels me a plagiarist.